I chose this experience because it was much different than my other deliveries. (I have 4 biological daughters and 1 adopted daughter). Although my other daughters were born in three hours or less Olivia’s was so short I felt rushed and ill prepared. Olivia was not a planned pregnancy and I was overwhelmed from the beginning of the pregnancy until about three months after her birth. I felt like I was spread thin and wanted to be able to give all the girls all of my love and was not sure how I was going to manage. I did not feel an instant connection with Olivia and needed my husband’s support as well as extended family support. Thank God they all jumped right into help. I suffered from postpartum depression for six weeks or so but did get the help I needed right away.
I think the impact on Olivia was minimal however I think that is due to the fact she was cared for by others especially dad. I understand that an unplanned pregnancy can cause much stress. I focused on my little girls at home and loved my life with them and my husband so I knew everything would work out in the end. I also think my faith kept me strong. The text explains, “bonding after birth is neither necessary nor sufficient for strong parental alliance and for parent-child attachment throughout life” (Berger, 2009). Even after all these years I was happy to read those words. I wanted it to be love at first sight but the fact is it took time.
FYI: After I adjusted we enjoyed Olivia so very much. She was a pleasant spirited baby and is a wonderful young lady now! I love her!
I decided to look at women giving birth in Iraq. Many women receive or opt out of prenatal care out of fear. There is a poor health care system and often there are only nurses in the hospitals and they carry guns. Women are often charged for ambulance rides to the hospital once labor has begun. If labor begins during curfew hours women fear leaving their homes and try to get assistance from a midwife. If they reach a hospital there may not be a doctor for various reasons one being kidnapping. It is a scary time for women in Iraq altogether. I felt sad reading this article.
Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.
Trejos, Nancy (2009). Iraq’s woes are adding major risks to childbirth. Retrieved from
Josie Zbaeren
Hi Josie,
ReplyDeleteYour story about Olivia's birth had me on the edge of my seat! Imagine if she had been your first--how scary that might have been.
That is a very interesting description of childbirth in Iraq, and sad too. I wonder how Iraqi home births end up comparing to their attempts at hospital births.
Tory
Hi Josie,
ReplyDeleteGosh, your birth story felt like a comical scene in a movie! I do relate to your quote and reflection on the fact that love and bond might not be at first sight and can take time. I felt the same with the arrival of my second son. Not as strongly as you,but it took me time to bond with my newborn baby. In my mind, all the affectionate words and phrases I wanted to use belonged to my first born. I felt like I was betraying him by using them on my second son. I cried when I left for the hospital to give birth because I felt bad leaving my son behind. It was the last time he was going to be the only child. It really took my husband's support to make me see how much more richer our life was now with our two sons.
Your story about Olivia's birth had me gripping my seat in suspense! I wanted my labor to be like that and much like my mother's giving birth to me. She barely made it to the delivery room and I was born. Thinking that these things were hereditary, I was disappointed being in labor for hours!! I am a testimony to the fact that the amount of time you spend in labor is NOT genetic!
ReplyDeleteI am anxious to read the story about the birthing experiences in Iraq. What made you decide to read that particular article?
Hi Josie,
ReplyDeleteI can somewhat identify with and your story. My first son was not a planned pregnancy, nor was it one that was wanted. After the first trimester I began feeling a connection to my son. I was very much connected after the delivery but, after sleepless nights and having a limited amount of help, something began to change. I was definitely feeling post-partum depression. It is very important to have a support system. If it had not been for an aunt of mine, I think I could have easily went insane. I love both my children and I honestly can not imagine life without them.
Hello Josie,
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother was pregnant with me she shared that she had a hard time connecting with her pregnancy. The pregnancy was unexpected and she was under a lot of stress and in the middle of a major life change. My mother’s feeling changed soon after delivery but she also dealt with postpartum depression. She also had the support of my grandmother and aunt, thank goodness for support systems. Reading your story and Michele’s story makes me wonder, does stress during pregnancy contribute to post-partum depression?
Since I am still childless and unmarried, I would say you are such a brilliant women to deliver a human for four times.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful. I would do the same one day.
Let us feel be blessed that we are women and be trusted to do this wonderful job. Thank you for sharing.